


It's Just a Nightmare, Charlie Brown

by queen_of_regrets



Category: Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead - Royal
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:47:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23947174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queen_of_regrets/pseuds/queen_of_regrets
Summary: And then, so soft he almost misses it, “CB?”orThe classic - it was all a horrible nightmare and everything is okay.
Relationships: CB/Beethoven
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	It's Just a Nightmare, Charlie Brown

**Author's Note:**

> Just a lil’ fix-it ficlet I wrote while I was supposed to be studying for finals. Can you tell I’m a sucker for happy endings? 
> 
> Enjoy!

CB doesn’t want to be here. In this goddamn ‘counseling session’. It’s inane, it’s stupid, and ultimately fucking useless. None of these people cared. They pretend to, now, of course - to look better in the eyes of their peers, convince themselves that they would’ve done something, feel better about all the shit they put Beethoven through.

But what did it matter when evidently _he_ didn’t even care enough? He wasn’t enough to keep Beethoven here, to at least receive a goddamn good-bye. So what was the point of even giving a shit in the first place? If it was only going to lead to this, why did he ever fucking bother?

He’s pissed off, that's for sure. So incredibly fucking pissed off and he latches onto that anger like a vice. He refuses to acknowledge how thin of a veil that anger is - terrified at what monstrosity will rear up when that cover is torn. So he writhes in it, feeds into it, ignoring the growing turmoil beneath his skull.

But then he’s asked the question, the one stupid fucking question he doesn’t want to confront -

“How do you feel?”

\- and that, that just sets him off. He lashes out and he can’t control it - this ugly raw and twisted rage. Everyone stares at him in horror as he storms out - after punching a wall, after insulting them and the fucking dearly departed - but he didn’t give a damn. Because why shouldn’t they feel like shit?

Beethoven is dead and he doesn’t want to think about it - yet it’s all he _can_ think about. Ironically, he feels Beethoven’s presence more now that he’s dead than he ever did when he was alive. And he hates it.

His sister finds him later, outside the doghouse now covered in cobwebs, it’s red paint chipped - words are exchanged, a letter is given.

And in the end, he breaks, succumbs to despair. He’s alone and all he can do is sob and the agony is _too much_ -

His eyes fly open. The grief is overwhelming, drowning out all his other senses. With a sharp inhale he attempts to tamp it down, but it refuses to yield. His eyes burn with unshed tears, the lump in his throat and surge of despair making it hard to breathe.

Blindly, he moves to get up, to physically distance himself from this turmoil. But his efforts are hindered by something heavy laying across his stomach. It briefly curls around his torso, before loosening slightly.

And then, so soft he almost misses it, “CB?”

That voice, that goddamn _voice,_ yanks his back to reality.

His head snaps to the side, eyes finally focusing on the body next to him. That unmistakable face, the mess of hair, the furrowed brows, the sliver of eyes blearily staring up at him under eyelids struggling to stay open.

Beethoven.

Holy _shit_.

He doesn’t think. He surges forward, desperately clutching Beethoven’s shirt to drag him closer. It was just a dream, just a nightmare - yet he can’t fight the need to ascertain that he’s _real_ , that he’s _here._ Because maybe _this_ is the dream. He’s still disoriented enough for that vague fear to sink its claws into his conscience.

He shifts his head to lay on Beethoven’s chest. That steady heartbeat contrasts the blood still pounding through his ears.

_He’s alive, he’s alive, he’s alive._

CB closes his eyes, focusing solely on that beat, a steady metronome to match the mantra in his head. He can’t help the tears that manage to slip out. Dimly he notes Beethoven shifting underneath him. His hands (unbroken, unmangled, _whole_ ) skitter across his skin before staying on the nape of his neck.

"What’s wrong?” The concern in Beethoven’s voice is clear. But so is his exhaustion. CB feels a pang of guilt. Beethoven already didn’t get enough sleep as it was. He hadn’t meant to wake him up. Not for something as dumb as this. 

“Nothing,” he swallows, trying to dispel the shakiness in his voice, “It’s nothing,” he repeats, firmer this time. He forces his hands to unclench Beethoven’s shirt, brushing them over his sides instead, “Just a stupid nightmare. Go back to sleep.”

Beethoven doesn’t believe him - he can feel it in the way his fingers hesitate as they thread through his hair. He’s probably noticed the tears seeping through his shirt too. But he doesn’t push. He merely grumbles, pulling CB closer and planting a kiss on the top of his head. Soon enough CB feels his breath even out again as he drifts back to sleep.

Eventually, CB follows suit, holding Beethoven tighter in the reassurance that he wasn’t going anywhere.

**Author's Note:**

> Besides the play itself, I drew inspo for the angsty part of this ficlet from these lovely heart-wrenching fics:
> 
> ['Life Goes On'](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14443659) by [DiLithiumDragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiLithiumDragon/pseuds/DiLithiumDragon)  
> [‘maybes and memories’](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13742790) by [pvtcaboose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pvtcaboose/pseuds/pvtcaboose)
> 
> Not kidding when I say I read and re-read them like a million times lol. Y’all are just so good at writing emotions! If you haven’t read them already you’re seriously missing out.
> 
> (And if you’re waiting on an update for [‘Never Felt So Alive’](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10255976/chapters/22729853), expect an update within the next two weeks!!)
> 
> Feel free to hmu [@queen-of-regrets](http://queen-of-regrets.tumblr.com/) over on tumblr!


End file.
